37 Introvert Proverbs: Wisdom For The Socially Disinclined

Here are 37 pieces of wisdom for introverts and other socially disinclined individuals…

1. A wink is as good as a nod to a blind man but both can be dodged by studiously avoiding eye contact.
2. Patience is a virtue as well as one of many games you can play entirely on your own.
3. A drowning man will clutch at a straw so avoid the ocean and always keep your cocktail close.
4. Charity begins at home so be virtuous and just stay in.
5. You can’t judge a book by its cover but you can use it to try and escape other people’s attempts at conversation on planes.
6. A bird in the hand means the outdoors is not for you and you should probably not be allowed near the fauna again.
7. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you but it’s ok to lick the cheese off it when you’re having pizza.
8. Don’t put the cart before the horse unless it’s your Amazon cart and you’re stocking up on books. I don’t know how the horse got involved here.
9. Don’t cross the bridge until you come to it. Or stay home and don’t cross the bridge at all which also avoids bridge trolls with their weird troll hair.
10. Empty vessels make the most sound so enjoy greater quiet by always keeping your wine glass filled.
11. A friend in need is a friend indeed but it’s definitely best if they text rather than call.
12. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This one seems good as is.
13. One cannot live on bread alone but wine, cheese, and chocolate will do the trick.
14. Do unto others as you would have them do to you: never drop in unannounced and always text rather than call.
15. Good things come to those who wait so best to cancel your plans and stay home and wait for the postman.
16. Blood is thicker than water but wine tastes so much better than both.
17. As one door closes another opens so lock them all and be very, very quiet until the knocking stops.
18. Home is where the heart is. Also the wifi, Netflix, books, and good snacks.
19. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst by always ordering extra pizza.
20. It never rains but it pours which is a lovely time to read a book and sip coffee or tea by the window.
21. Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise but then read till 3am.
22. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day and therefore leave you alone so you can binge-watch your stories.
23. Fall seven times get up eight and then that’s enough wine for you.
24. Half a loaf is better than none but why not just order pizza instead.
25. The ‘proof’ of the alcohol is in the drinking.
26. To add insult to injury, try a kick in the shins followed by yelling, Ew you smell. It’s one way to get people to leave you alone.
27. An apple a day keeps the doctor away and staying very quiet when strangers knock also helps.
28. Too many cooks spoil the broth because the broth just wants to be left alone.
29. The early bird catches the worm so sleep in and by the time you’re up all the worms will be gone.
30. You can’t have your cake and eat it too so for the love of Pete just buy extra cake.
31. It takes two to tango but only one to stay home, eat snacks, and binge-watch Netflix.
32. The pen is mightier than the sword which is why pretty stationery is fierce.
33. There’s no use crying over spilt milk but spill a good Shiraz and it’s perfectly fine to bawl your eyes out.
34. Two heads are better than one because that’s twice as many coins for tipping the pizza dude.
35. If at first you don’t succeed try re-booting the wifi router.
36. Never put off till tomorrow what you can binge-watch today.
37. You made your bed now you must lie in it, so take a good book and enjoy!