Does It Come In A Forehead Tattoo?

Craig bought this card for me a few years ago.

I feel it should come in a suite of options, including:

• Font – ideal for replying to invitations to baby showers, team-building events, and anything involving organized activities or the phrase ‘ice-breaker’
• Anti-Chit-Chat Hologram – activated by phone app whenever someone attempts to penetrate defense systems including but not limited to earbuds, snarling facial expression, book, strenuously avoided eye contact
• Forehead tattoo.

Image credit: http://www.seriouslyfunnycards.com/other.html