The world is full of noise, crowds, and rambunctious people. Bars, open-plan offices, crowded trains and buses, busy city streets – all can leave us feeling trapped and suffocated, uncomfortable and all peopled out.
But the world also offers places where a more reflective soul can find peace, contentment, solace, or even the right kind of company.
Here are 5 places an introvert can enjoy a calmer kind of happy.
1. The Cafe Office
Many introverts like being or working alone with other people. A coffee shop is a great place to do this – whether it’s to enjoy the hubbub of humanity without having to engage, or to people-watch.
I like to write at cafes a couple of days a week. I found a place that made great coffee, but it was right in the middle of a shopping centre and acquaintances kept finding me and stopping to chat. Eeek!
After some experimentation I found a cafe that’s hidden away where they’ve learned how I like my coffee and they make me a delicious lunch that’s not even on the menu. I never have to order – they know my routine and take great care of me while I work.
If you’re prepared to do a little exploring you might track down a coffee shop that offers a quiet corner and good coffee. If you do, become a regular and be a good customer. Order generously for the time you’re there, and tip well.
If you work in a loud workplace perhaps you can negotiate some regular time at your own little cafe office. Find a way to demonstrate you’re more productive there – and your boss will be happy.
2. The Park, Beach, Or Walking Trail Escape
What could be better that taking your book, kindle, iPad, or notebook to a picturesque spot in the park?
For me, staying inside could be better, a lot better, and also freer of bugs. But this is not about me and the heinousness of bugs with their creepy bug bodies and their weird, excessive bug legs.
If you enjoy the outdoors then find a spot on the grass or on a bench under a shady tree – and enjoy the birds and the breeze and the fresh air.
Or perhaps the background sound of crashing waves on a deserted beach is more your thing?
Or a trek through a picturesque hiking trail?
Personally, my absolute favourite thing about the outdoors is coming back inside. But if you enjoy nature, investigate local spots where you can enjoy some outdoorsyness and quality introvert time.
3. The Sofa + TV Combo
I’m sure I don’t need to sell you on the formula of sofa + TV = introvert joy. But for me there’s a third ingredient that makes the sofa / TV combo a truly happy introvert place. No, not snacks, though of course you’re right and I stand corrected. And now also hungry.
The thing that elevates quality sofa and TV time for me is when it rewards a period of hard work rather than provides a way to avoid it. When I watch TV because I’m feeling overwhelmed or want to procrastinate, there’s always this little mental barrier to really enjoying myself.
But if I’ve done some good work and my brain is happily tired, there’s a whole other level of pleasure. So I use TV as an incentive and work toward it. Right now I have a long, challenging list of tasks I’m working through for Louder Minds, and when I’m done my reward will be to re-watch Game of Thrones from the start, in anticipation of the upcoming final two seasons. Of course I could start doing that now, but the pleasure will be sweeter when it feels earned.
Whether you like learning from documentaries, escaping into other worlds, or ‘hanging out’ with people who don’t need anything from you, the sofa + TV combination can be a very restorative place for introverts.
4. The Friend Dinner Date
Although many of us introverts dislike parties and large-scale social events, we may really enjoy time with our best friends.
I love to have friend dates, when I get together over dinner with a close friend. For an introvert there’s something very nurturing about deep conversation with a dear friend over a delicious meal. And wine. Did I mention there should be good wine?
For this reason I always choose restaurants that have the right ambience – not too noisy, not too brightly lit, not rushed, tables not too jammed together.
I usually wear something a little dressy as well – it just feels good.
If you don’t have regular friend dates, give it a try. It’s a lovely and rejunenating way to spend an evening.
5. The Library
If you enjoy books and quiet and have a library near you then you are indeed a lucky introvert.
This may be one of the most wonderful places for someone seeking a serene place to spend some time.
Theres’s the smell of books, the helpful librarians, and even the officious, cranky ones (I find them strangely comforting). There’s the camaraderie of fellow book lovers with whom you do not have to interact in any way, and the lovely dependability of the Dewey Decimal System. There’s the ‘new books’ section and the fact you can stroll around and look at spines and search the catalogue and let one thing lead to another as you explore and read and explore some more.
One piece of advice though: if it’s peace you’re after, be sure to avoid children’s story-time.
How about you? Do you have a happy place that soothes your introvert soul?
Please share!
As an introvert and a highly sensitive person, I do best in a place that is quiet. I like being in my own space where I can control the level of noise and stimulation. I love going for walks by myself, especially in areas that are more rural or natural. I also like doing artwork, especially drawing, painting, and pottery. Working with my hands provides me a level of calm that I can’t achieve by watching TV or playing games on the computer. It also opens my mind to new possibilities, thus enriching my inner life.
Brianna, I think there are many of us creative introverts. It’s lovely to be alone with ourselves and make something. 🙂
I have enjoyed a little quiet time at the library, and I should try it more often. I can sample things and ideas that I do not have at home, sample being the operative word. I very much enjoy socialising with friends (4-6 is best) at a restaurant, but I also enjoy spending many hours alone in my den indulging in my hands-on hobby, with only music for company. The music can get quite loud! At times my hobby requires concentration and interruptions are a bother. So it is helpful to plan ahead for this kind of hobby time.
Hey David! I too love to be alone for hours in my office with only music for company. In my case the singing can get quite loud! 😉
I adore my cafe office. I live in a secured compound and it often isn’t worth the hassle driving back and forth between other commitments, of getting in and out (and potentially stuck). I have found an independent coffe house that has hundreds of people that ‘take out’, and just one or two who, like me, sit for a couple of hours with our laptops. I don’t want the attention of having my lunch made, but it’s nice to have a smile and “hello” of recognition when I go in.
Finding your cafe office is a treasure, isn’t it Laura! I get so much done. 🙂
My county library made the decision to allow cell phone use INSIDE the library. Idiots. These days I’m more likely to be at home ordering books online than going to the library anymore. There’s nothing like having some weirdo follow you up and down the library aisles yapping on a phone while you’re trying to locate a book.
Some people are just profoundly unaware, aren’t they Karen? That would drive me nuts too.
Oh, Karen, that’s awful! I sure hope that doesn’t catch on.
Our library is one of my very favorite places. It’s precisely because you aren’t supposed to talk in a library that makes it so appealing to us introverts.
I live in the sticks, so going into town on my day off is a big thing for me. Unfortunately, I don’t have many choices when it comes to coffee shops and 30 miles is too far to travel to get to the book store, so I go to Starbucks. It has become a remote office location for many, which means I’m privy to phone conversations and business meetings. I, too, am an HSP, so I make good use of my earbuds and brown noise to drown everything and everyone out. It’s a necessary evil, though, as I can’t get wifi at home so I need to use theirs to update my blogs. But if I’m stuck at home (which is all week minus 8 hours when the relief caregiver for mom comes), then I spend as much time as possible in my basement studio, painting, sewing, listening to Count Basie, reading, etc. It truly is my sanctuary.
It may not be ideal, Stephanie, but this sounds like a good, workable solution. I use my earbuds to keep the chitchat away – even when I’m not actually listening to anything other than my own thoughts. Your studio sanctuary sounds like bliss!
Oh yeah, we live on 100+ wooded acres, so going out into the woods to take pictures of mushrooms and nature is also a favorite activity.
I love going to busy places like malls where people are around me but not with me. Oddly enough, most of my dreams are about places and people that I do not recognize. Once, when my husband attended a conference, I tagged along for fun. The downtown area adjacent to the hotel was not safe (per the security guards at the hotel), so I hung out at the library and did some research for a project. It was a productive and safe afternoon.
I know what you mean Krys – it’s nice to be around people as long as you have your bubble. I feel that way too. 🙂
I work in customer service, so I am around people all day. I actually enjoy interacting with strangers in this way and have some lovely regular customers. The biggest problem I have though is I am a sensitive and along with the charming customers, there are a lot of very moody people too. Either way, I find it very draining on my energies and if I don’t get at least a couple of hours a day and occasional days totally to myself I get extremely exhausted and find it difficult to focus properly on anything. Then I am accused of being moody and disinterested by my family.
Tina, you are wise to manage your people resources. Whether or not they understand, your family will benefit from letting you have your recharge time. You might like these articles too:
All Peopled Out: How To Recharge If You’re An Introvert
7 Things Introverts Wish Their Extroverted Friends And Loved Ones Knew
Omgosh….i love this post. The 5 places are perfect….this describes me:)
My favorite place to get my alone time is book stores.
I love to swim. This is truly a happy place for me. Once I pass the 30 minute mark of continuous swimming most of my thoughts or concerns have disappeared. If I can swim for at least 1 hour I end up with a super endorphin high once I get home.
Walking or snowshoeing in the woods is also very enjoyable.
I’m trying different hobbies at home but just can’t seem to find ‘the one’ that I can get lost in.
I stopped working over 3 years ago due to a health crisis. My days are very long. Without work I have no people to interact with so I am quite lonely. I’m not from the town I live in. The locals are very small town minded so I haven’t fit it. Really it’s been a psychological torture.
Good thing I am an introvert or I suppose it would be worse.